September 17, 2009

GQ Ranks Brown U #1 in.....

Marc Comtois

...well, in this case, I'll let GQ explain (warning: impolite terminology ahead):

The question isn't whether you're a douche bag when you go to college. We were all kind of douche bags when we went to college, if we're going to be honest about it. No, the question for America's youth is: What kind of douche bag do you aspire to be? Like, Where can you go if you want to major in Jet Skiing? How about if you're a trust-fund type but are embarrassed about it? What if you want to lord your intelligence over people for the rest of your life, in the form of a bumper sticker? Picking the right school can be daunting. That's why GQ offers up its heavily researched, possibly stereotypey, but still accurate guide. (Hint: If you're an alum of an Ivy League school in Providence, Rhode Island, get ready to cancel your subscription!)
OK, so, why is Brown #1:

Home of: The "Peace Sign on My Mom's 7 Series" Douche
Affectations: A belief that grades, majors, and course requirements are just another form of cultural hegemony; using the word hegemony.
In ten years, will be: Living with your family in an old house that you quit your job to refurbish yourself (by overseeing a contractor) with painstaking historical accuracy in a formerly decaying section of the city that's recently been reclaimed by a small population of white guys in hand-painted T-shirts who are helping you put together a health care fund-raiser for
Douchiest course offering: English 200: On Vampires and Violent Vixens: Making the Monster Through Discourses of Gender and Sexuality.
Honorable-mention limousine-liberal institutions: Duke, Reed, Oberlin, Wesleyan, Bard, RISD.
Nice honorable mention by RISD, too!

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Although the vampire course might be fun...

Posted by: Tabetha at September 17, 2009 1:05 PM

There are some very talented hard-working people at RISD,and the school has a history of graduating serious artists.
Just like Brown medical students aren't in the same world with the trust fund pukes.
I have met many Brown med students and doctors in their residency as a VA patient and they are high quality, smart,and pleasant people.Of course the residents are already doctors and hardly kids.One of the med students started laughing when I made a face at the mention of Brown,and she said "in the medical school we have too much serious work to be make believe socialists"-I loved it.

Posted by: joe bernstein at September 17, 2009 8:07 PM

Good point, Dad. The med students are too busy doing serious work. The GQ article is quite funny but you do have to make distinctions between serious, focused students and kids who just want to spend mom and dad's money while playing at being revolutionaries and avoiding the real world. The students who are planning to be a service to society, like future doctors, should not be grouped into the same category.

Posted by: Tabetha at September 17, 2009 8:49 PM

Tabby-how do get the time to post stuff here?Too bad Mike missed the Pats game.

Posted by: joe bernstein at September 18, 2009 12:45 AM

One of my favorite things about Brown is the Socialist and Communist student organizations. No, I'm not putting my label on it, that is literally what they call themselves.

Imagine working your way up through society, getting a good job, working hard, earning enough money to put your pride and joy, little Johnny or Suzie to Brown University and its $50,000 a year price tag. You call your little darling, ask how's school and hear "Oh great! I've joined the Communists! I believe we should all share everything!

Kill me now...

Posted by: Brown U person at September 18, 2009 6:25 AM

Which is why my one offspring who graduated college went to RIC.She got a great education in her field there.
My late uncle sent his granddaughter to Brown on his savings from being a subway conductor(granddaughter from his first marriage) and she never amounted to anything as far as I heard.
This was before the $50,000/yr era.

Posted by: joe bernstein at September 18, 2009 1:20 PM

Okay, I'll bite, Brown U.
If a person is willing to truly live the life of a socialist, then go ahead and call yourself one.
My grandfather believed in Communism, in theory. However, he could not share a bathroom or bedroom with even my grandmother. (Yes, in their house they each had their own bathroom, bedroom and, to an extent, living room.)
As for many so-called Communists and Socilalists, I think they like the idea of it and not the reality. Otherwise why not quit your Ivy League school immediately and insist that your parents use your college fund to send you and several other people to community college instead? That would be socialism in practice. I don't see too many takers, but I would have to at least respect the person who made such a move. Most so-called Socialists and Communists are like this old joke:

A person asks a Communist to explain Communism's key principles.
The Communist answers: "Well, if I have two million dollars, then I keep one million and give you one million."
The person answers: "Oh, I get it. So if you have two shirts, then you keep one shirt and give me one shirt."
The Communist answers: "No, no, no. I HAVE two shirts."

If you want to pretend to be a Socialist or Communist but at the end of the day you still don't want to share your shirts, so to speak, then you really need to rethink your alleged belief system.
BTW, can you actually name for me a successful Communist country? And I mean true Communism - China doesn't count. I want to see an example where there are no specially treated leaders, everyone has exactly the same thing, does the same work, and actually lives by the ethos of each according to his ability, each according to his need. I don't think such a nation ever has or could exist. Try rereading Orwell's Animal Farm for a nice little allegory on what real Communist countries become.
In the end, most of you really don't want to give up your shirts.

Posted by: Tabetha at September 18, 2009 2:46 PM

Tabby-to be accurate your grandad came by his misguided beliefs as a result of going to work in shoe factories straight out of high school in 1931.
He and his father spent thse years living in dingy industrial towns like Little Falls,Gloversville,and Herkimer in upstate NY before the Thruway was dreamed of,and where employee free choice to join a union required a lead pipe wrapped in newspaper,not a ballot.They followed the jobs in a dreary landscape for years.
He also served honorably as a Sergeant in the US Army field artillery in WW2.
After the war it was back to the shoe factory until many years later,a better opportunity gave him a decent second career.
Compared to that,the wannabe radicals are nothings.They are the spoiled brats who lived soft lives and now fantasize themselves as revolutionaries.they wouldn't make a pimple on the ass of a real revolutionary

Posted by: joe bernstein at September 20, 2009 2:53 PM

Your right, Dad. He was a hard worker and led a difficult life. My point was that most people who like the idea of Communism wouldn't enjoy the reality. I think Grandpa would not have wanted to spend his golden years in a cramped little Soviet apartment sharing a bathroom with fifteen other people. He deserved to enjoy the fruits of his labor as a retiree, but under a Communist regime he would not have been allowed to do so.He may have had his reasons for ascribing to a Communist philosophy but he probably would have hated actually living in the USSR or Cuba.
Conversely, the kids at Brown, for the most part, just have no conception of what it would be like to live anything other than an upper middle class life. I think most of them probably just think it sounds cool to be a Socialist. In 10 - 15 years, though, they'll be living yuppie Capitalist lives as they purchase McMansions and buy their produce at Whole Foods.
The novel Church of the Dead Girls by Stephen Dobyns has an interesting take on college Socialists.

Posted by: Tabetha at September 21, 2009 5:10 PM
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